I have really been having a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea that my last baby is turning 1. I knew that it was going to be hard but I had no idea that I would be feeling like this. Linc and I decided Bella would be our last, I mean 4 kids is a lot these days, and trust me, when I have them all running around the house or screaming at something, 4 kids might as well be 20. So I feel good about the fact that we are done, but it still doesn't change the emotions that I am feeling at the thought of never having another baby again. With Bella turning 1, it has really made me realize that I am closing a chapter in my life that I thought would never end, and now that I am here, it is hard to let go of. One of my favorite things in the world is to sit and hold a new baby, and trust me, when I had my babies that is all I did. I tried my very hardest to spend every second, of everyday with my kids and enjoy each and every last moment, the only sad thing is, is that I did this and yet I am already having a hard time remembering all the little looks on their faces and things they would say and how they would say them. It is so funny looking back through all the years of having a newborn at home, and how I can't think of anything hard about it, but all the great and wonderful things. But I know in the moment of it, it was tough. To think that I started this journey of Motherhood 8 1/2 years ago, and yet it feels like yesterday. I am so grateful for each and everyone one of my children, they have all helped me grow in so many different ways. I am looking forward to all the amazing adventures that lie ahead of us. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for trusting me with 4 of the most amazing children any mother could have asked for. I know I prayed and prayed everyday for them. I am also grateful for the husband I have and the fact that we get to share this experience together.
So if you see me and ask about Bella turning 1, don't be surprised when I shed a few tears, It's just a closing of a chapter that brings them. I am looking forward to starting the next one.
2 comments:
I know this feeling and my last baby is only 5 months today. I already miss that brand-new baby cuddling on my chest feeling. I am excited to start the next chapter but know I will miss this one terribly. Thank goodness for scrapbooks, right? Anyhow, with 4 kids you should expect lots of grandbabies someday! I hope your transition through this phase goes easily. Love, Erika
First off, I really like the look of your blog. I'm impressed! So, now that less important things are out of the way...
It's crazy to see how big your family is now. I remember when Logan was just a wee lad of a few months and you guys were living in that Murray Condo. I'd come over and play video games with Linc, but once of us would hold him.
Life has come a LONG way since then, for sure! Each one of the boys and Bella herself are so very special and the world just wouldn't be the same without them.
It's been such a joy being their Uncle (so far) and seeing them learn and grow. I have no doubt that this is just the beginning, and you've only begun to see the rewards.
Some day, all of those moments that you spent holding and caring for the kids will come back to you in ways that are incomprehensible.
Love you! Thanks for being the best thing that ever happened to Linc. I'm so happy he's well taken care of. There's no better person for the mother of his children than you. You're perfect!
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